Ever since in my life I've never had to re-shape or ever think of doing that, but the stage where i am in this time it looks to me i have to do that if i want the life i want to have and this is very much frustrating to me because life progress is not there at all. the problem is i know what i have to do in order to achieve my goals, and i am afraid to make this choir due to the time i spend to be where i am which so far according to me is nowhere.i am scared to death because i will disappoint the most important person in my life, the person who fought for years and wasted her resources to be where i am. she was against me doing what i am currently at and i push by force convincing her that this is for me but i seem to be lost and out of hope in myself so far but i don't want to leave this in stand still.
I do not know how i will convince her again that i have to leave this and for that matter i am not happy with my past decision as they are useless so far even though i can see something nice in the future for myself which i intent to work smartly and hard to get it. i need to pray hard to God Almighty to really show me what i have to do for me to be myself. i wake up each day hope that i might be someone great and huge to my community, but it get harder every moment i sit and think about that. times keep changing and i am still in the same medium and i watch people around me being successful and carrying on with their lives. i am happy for them because they make me work harder everyday so i can succeed and be stable like they are in their lives.
i am afraid my strength is min and with the level of my faith at this moment i don't know whats good for me anymore, but i know something great is about to happen to me soon and i hope that it is something that will flourish my life and a new perspective.
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